Sunday, September 27, 2009

First Date....

Being a single woman of 44 years old, I've been out there in the dating world for a very long time now. As you can imagine, I've been on a multitude of "first dates". Last night I experienced another first date, and it is something I just have to share with you, my friends.

As I posted last week, I met Larry at the wine festival. I didn't really know if I was attracted to Larry. I mean with some men I'm immediately drawn to them from the second we meet...this was not the case with Larry. But I haven't been on a date here in the United States since I quit seeing HIM and it is definitely time I make myself available out there in the universe.

Larry called me during the week, calling me by the wrong name...he used a nickname that I never use because I hate being called by that nickname. I let that go, and agreed to meet him at a restaurant near my house.

For a woman the whole ritual of getting ready for a date is something I've always enjoyed. Not to sound conceited, but I am a pretty cute girl...some would even say I am pretty. So as I put on make-up, did my hair, and chose a sexy, but not too sexy outfit, I was in a pretty good head space...Selfishly I've always gone through this ritual more for myself and how it makes me feel rather than worrying about what the guy will think.

I meet Larry in the restaurant bar. I look at him and I notice that his jeans have been hemmed to the ankle straight legged style and he is wearing flip-flops. OK...this is so superficial, but come on, it is Saturday night, we are at a nice restaurant, and this dude made the choice to show me the most unattractive part of a man's body - his hairy feet and toes. My gay husband would've left right then - I just didn't look down for the rest of the night.

Larry has already been drinking wine, explaining to me that he hasn't been out on a date in 14 years and is a little nervous - he's divorced. Not a big deal, right? However, I can tell he's been sitting there drinking for a while - a big turn off in my book.

I am pretty good at the first date talk. Sharing just enough so the other person gets to know me, but not revealing too much - no one wants to hear about baggage on a first date, right? Larry didn't get that memo. He proceeds to tell me that he is the youngest of 8 children, but that six of his siblings are now dead. I'm not sure if he's looking for sympathy, but then he tells me that his family name will die with him as he is unable to conceive far entirely too much information on a first date!

By now Larry has had four glasses of wine to my 1 1/2. and we've only been sitting there for about an hour. Growing up with an alcoholic father, my brain is screaming, "danger, danger". On top of the drinking, each time Larry orders another drink he snaps his fingers at the bartender in order to get his attention - if I was Susie, the bartender, I would've spit in his wine.

As Larry continues to unload all his family secrets, I'm informed that he comes from a very old family dating back to the Mayflower, is related to Robert E. Lee, among other war heroes, and he grew up in a haunted house built in the 1700's. Oh and of course he has a lot of money. I have found that when people talk about themselves this much on a first date, very little of it is true.

Just when I think I have heard everything, Larry tells me that three of his dead siblings died from alcohol, and one from a drug overdose. He tells me that he comes from a long line of alcoholics, but he didn't get that gene because he doesn't have to drink....he's just ordered his sixth glass of wine. Oh....we haven't even ordered dinner yet! Starving, I ask Larry if we can eat...

After we eat - I had the sea bass, which was amazing - I begin to plan out my exit. I didn't know what time it was, but I was done listening to Larry unload every piece of dirty laundry that he's been keeping in the dark trenches of his mind. He also felt this was the time for us to make plans - like going on vacation together...I almost RAN right then. After what I think is an appropriate 10 minutes after they have cleared our plates, I tell Larry that it is time for me to go.

Larry walks me to my car, I thank him for dinner, give him a peck on the lips. He tells me that he is going back in for another glass of wine. He asks if I want to go out again. I smile and tell him to give me a call, leaving Larry standing in the rain in his ankel jeans and flip-flops....I will be screening my calls for the next week....sorry dude, but if you are looking to get laid anytime soon I would rethink how you approach a first date.

As for me...I'm ready for my next first date!

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